For a long time Ivan wasn't keen to know his HIV status. "There are also plenty of reasons not to know," he says. "You become criminally responsible for infecting others. Besides what's the hope if there is no treatment."

But after years of rejecting HIV tests, Ivan got tested in 2003. As he predicted, the result showed he had advanced HIV infection. But he is stronger than before. "It is not hopeless. I am holding on. No need to go through the torments of the past."